omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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