I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
