so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
