We need to rekindle our bromance
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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