Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
