Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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