we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
