obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
