omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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