She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
