I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
