Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I am available for nakedness
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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