Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
