I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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