Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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