I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
