but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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