from now on my penis is your penis
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
