so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize