nut hugger
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
