i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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