also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
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