just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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