I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
