Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He is an equal opportunity slut.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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