I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
