Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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