I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Too much gin, very little bucket
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
