This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
