Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
