Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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