Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
