I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
