So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
