escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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