he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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