what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
