dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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