Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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