imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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