That's intense
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize