Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
