so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Who died my cat blue again?
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