actually, I'm a sock model
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
