I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
