return my video game
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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