he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
