I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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