don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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