He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
