Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
