i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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