All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I look better un-naked...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
