She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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