I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
