I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
