OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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