I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize