i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
