Do you still have your period?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
