guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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