So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
