Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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