Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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