I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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