I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
